


A-Chaoidh

by Mooncactus



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-17
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-02 02:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/364023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mooncactus/pseuds/Mooncactus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the fall of Darquesse, a murder sets off a series of strange crimes, seemingly connected to Valkyrie Cain and company. Meanwhile, Valkyrie attempts to settle her life and relationships while approaching a dangerous birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Important Haircut

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, the feeling of finally uploading a fic you've been conceptualizing since September...
> 
> This will be a lengthy fic to uploaded over the following months, update frequency unknown, focusing on many things and relationships. This includes an asexual romance between Skulduggery and Valkyrie, as as warning. I know that is certainly not everyone's thing!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this. Feel free to ask questions- I want to try a more interactive approach with this fic.
> 
> Etymology: A-Chaoidh means "forever" in Scottish Gaelic. (It almost means "never" when used negatively.)

The scent of burnt _something_ filled Valkyrie's nose, and she cringed, shoulders rolling up towards her ears. Her detective skills helpfully alerted that she was on a cold stone floor, she had passed out, and something had very recently been set on fire.

A groan escaped her lips, originating from both pain and annoyance with herself. Her ears were ringing and she felt like her brain had been rattled. She must have fallen flat to the ground, no cushion or air magic to soften the blow. Now she wished she had put her thigh length hair into a ponytail that morning- maybe it would have served as a pillow.

Turning onto her stomach, she bent her knees and pushed up, easing herself into a crouch. Her eyes opened slowly and reluctantly, as she felt her head react violently to the movement and light. Glancing around, Valkyrie caught a familiar ivory face in the corner of her eye before she gave into the desire to shut her eyes again.

"Ground is moving," she muttered to her partner, slowly raising both her arms for balance and switching to her feet.

"Not quite," Skulduggery said, and she felt his hands around her waist, steadying her and lifting her to her feet. Energy gone, she slumped against him, arms thrown around his neck and head safely balanced on his shoulder. She was silent, feeling the ground solidify beneath her feet, as he softly checked the back of her head, fingers parting her hair. He made a low muttering noise, probably irritated that she had been hurt, but had nothing to report.

Valkyrie exhaled deeply, burying her face in the silk of his jacket, not quite ready to go back to being a full-grown adult yet. He spoke to her in a low voice, careful not to make her headache get worse.

"Symptoms?"

"Just dizzy, I think."

"I don't think you have a concussion," he said softly into her ear. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Think so," she replied, slowly easing her self away from his ribcage. Her nose scrunched up as she eased her eyes open again, taking in the scenery. They were in a dim, drab cave, stinking of moss and a musky smell, as well as the burning scent she had caught earlier. Now that her brain was beginning to stabilize, she could scan the cave, piecing together what she had missed when she was dead to the world. (Hopefully for no longer than ten minutes. That would just be embarrassing.)

She picked her sword off the ground, checking the blade and putting it back in its sheath in a fluid, practiced motion. No blood stains- it had been abandoned after she passed out.

Things neatly fell into place when she spotted the dead body, soaked in a shallow pool of water. It returned in a rush- following the human fireball across the city into an appropriately ominous cave, the battle once there, and finally, said pyromaniac backhanding her onto the cave's floor.

Ow. No wonder her head hurt so much. As for what happened after she passed out…

"I got this," Valkyrie said quietly, refusing explanation. She was a detective now, for God's sake. Lifting both of her hands to sides of her aching head, she muttered, "Just let the hard drive start up again."

"No one uses hard drives anymore, my dear Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, amusement masking the concern in his voice. He had his hand on the small of her back.

"Shut up. So he smacked me down, and…" She took in the scorch marks on the ground where she had laid, and then moved towards the body. "Tried to burn me up right there, I guess. Aimed at my back, to no avail, thanks to my coat. You retaliated- a little late, by the way, and hosed him down with water. He looks about three minutes dead."

"Precisely. You're going to run me out of business, one of these days."

"That's the plan." She smiled, facing him. He glanced back at her, skull as blank as ever. She read his expression easily- she had been able to do so two minutes after meeting him, and immediately frowned.

"Okay, what's wrong? Did he burn your hat or something?" It'd explain the smell. She reached for the brim, but he stopped her.

"…Not exactly," he said, hesitant, apologetic.

He reached for her back, and Valkyrie felt his gloved hand pull through her dark brown and absurdly long hair. Momentarily puzzled, she waited patiently as he displayed his fist for her to see.

In his hand were long, shiny clumps of brown hair, badly burnt at the ends.

"Oh my God." Valkyrie said, quietly, and then, louder, "Oh my _God."_ She reached behind her back, grabbing at her formerly gorgeous hair, and making alarming noises as it felt apart in her hands.

"That _bastard!"_ She howled, turning to face the body. "Do you know how long it took to grow this hair? Ten years!" The dead body didn't say anything. Not like she expected it to, but still. She scowled at it, considered kicking the dead man, but she wasn't forty-five anymore.

"Who is he, anyway?" Asked Valkyrie, realizing that she didn't remember him introducing himself.

"Haven't the foggiest. I'll call the Sanctuary to pick him up." He tapped the face of his wristwatch, and Valkyrie took a second to marvel at the teeny tiny technology.

She played with what was left of her hair as he spoke into the watch's face. The shortest ends tickled her chin. She hadn't had hair this short since she was eight.

It took her a moment too long to realize that Skulduggery had finished his conversation and was staring at her, somewhat amused.

"You're really going to sulk about your hair?"

"It was really, really good hair."

"It still is. Just a bit shorter."

"And raggedy. And burnt."

"…That is true, I admit." He circled her, and she stood up straighter, feeling self-conscious. "Would you like me to cut it a bit cleaner? I assume you will be visiting Amelia later, but for now…"

"Yes. Just get rid of it." He ignored the sword at her side- the poisoned blade would worsen the problem somewhat. She turned her back to him, and he summoned a bit of water to use as an ice blade. Convenient. She could probably make one herself, but she saw no need when she had an elemental sword that switched between fire, ice, poison- whatever she needed.

As he cut, the last of the weight on her neck came flying off, and the ends of hair practically flew upwards.

"There. Not bad, if I say so myself." He turned the blade towards her, and she caught her reflection. Better- it was more evenly cut than one would think, for a knife made of ice, but she scowled anyway.

"I look eleven. Ugh, China would scold me if she saw me like this. This is just …awful."

"Nonsense. You look as beautiful as always," replied Skulduggery, facing her.

"That's sweet of you. And a blatant lie. Ugh, how long is this going to take to grow back? I might have to steal some of your hats."

"I bought you some, you know."

"That loses half the fun." Grabbing his wrist, she angled the mirror so she could see herself again. Most of his hats wouldn't hide her hair, but at least they'd serve as a distraction. …She paused, a distant memory coming back to her, and groaned. "I take that back. I don't look eleven."

"Oh?"

"I look like _Davina Marr."_

Skulduggery paused, tilting his head as to show he needed a moment to recall the long dead woman's face. "You do not," he said finally.

"Yes, I do. I think my nose is shrinking."

"It isn't."

"Oh God, I'm slowly turning into that awful cow. If I start speaking in an American accent and calling everyone sweetie, please put me out of my misery."

He glanced at her. "You are ridiculous."

"I'm serious!"

They strolled out of the cave mouth, and Valkyrie paused him out of habit, pushing her fingers under his shirt collar and activating the façade. Her fingers ran across his collarbone for a lingering moment, and then proceeded to adjust his shirt and brush the curls off his fake face into the crown of his fedora.

In turn, he ruffled her hair, getting used to the new length.

She scowled at him, and he gave her a brilliant smile in return, face convincing and real. He and China had both improved at faces; China had perfected facades, with no drooping features and almost impossibly realistic skin, and no time limits, while Skulduggery had learned a bit about when it was appropriate to grin.

It was an unchanging face and she liked it very much, with its brilliant green eyes and mouth that had perfect little smirks. Not as much as she liked his skull, but still. She pushed herself onto her tiptoes (just for show, even though his cheekbones were rather high up) and placed a kiss on his cheek. She felt the cool bone against her lips, hidden under the layer of magic.

"Thank you for saving my life, yet again," she said quietly, speaking into his ear. (She would never get used to that.)

"You make it sound like it isn't a daily thing."

"Oh, shut up, you're a damsel in distress more than I am."

"Then I'm making up the debt," he smiled warmly. "Until the end."

"Until the end."

His fingers pressed lightly into her waist as he wrapped his arm around her, and the clouds gasped as the two rose up beside them.

* * *

Valkyrie sat in the brightly lit hair salon, tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair and glancing at her phone. Skulduggery had dropped her off as he went to the Sanctuary to discuss what had happened to them earlier. ("Please tell them I was grievously injured instead of having a hair emergency.")

Her phone was old. _Extremely_ old. She was having trouble keeping up with all the updates and additions, (the hologram rumors just made her shudder) and could now understand why Skulduggery had been carrying a clunker of a phone when they had met. Now, though, her phone was over a decade older than his.

The message system of this one was easy, which was why she stubbornly stuck with it. She had been opening up a message from Skulduggery when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, and Valkyrie sighed as she looked up.

"Can't I hold onto it for once?" She eyed the grey container the young assistant held, where a few phones already rattled around.

"Miss Amelia hates interruptions," the young man repeated as if reciting it in school.

"I know, but…"

"Tanith can wait," Amelia's voice came, sing song, from one of the back rooms.

"Skulduggery, actually." Valkyrie reluctantly dropped the phone into the basket and began making her way down the hall. Her phone went off again, and the assistant jumped before hissing a "ssshh" at it, and it silenced. (Amelia also insisted on her and her assistants' voices would be put on all of her clients' voice list.)

"But he _never_ texts. Likes the sound of his own voice too much, that man." Amelia sounded mystified, talking over the sound of running water.

"He's in a meeting. I'd be with him, but this happened." She stepped into the doorway of the room, glancing at Amelia's back. The thirty something mage's chartreuse hair fell in curls down the back of her striped tank, and she wore vintage jeans fashionably paired with cowboy boots. She looked barely nineteen, face youthful and figure thin and straight. Amelia was a child compared to Valkyrie, but the younger elemental managed to boss her around whenever they met anyway. It had been like this from the very start.

"What happened?" Amelia asked. When she didn't get an answer, she turned, slowly, wiping her hands on a rag sticking out of her pocket, and blinked at Valkyrie. Her glasses hung from a chain around her neck, so she needed to squint near nearsightedly for a moment to get the full effect. When she caught sight of the choppy locks framing her face, she visibly recoiled.

"Dear God."

"…So it _is_ that bad?"

" _Yes_."

"Skulduggery said it was-"

Amelia sighed and shook her head. Ushering Valkyrie over to a styling chair, she continued, "He is _Skulduggery_ ; I am not. My opinion is unbiased, and thus, much better. No offense."

"None taken." Said Valkyrie, hanging up her sword and coat on a hook by the chair.

"Speaking of him," Amelia grabbed for Valkyrie's left hand, examining her still bare ring finger. The dark haired woman resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I would have called you, calm down."

"My phone is always off."

"I'd find a way. Don't pout, he's not _your_ partner." Amelia, thankfully, took that as a sign. Valkyrie was waiting for the stylist to pull her hair off her neck before remembering she had none to lift.

Amelia rested her nut brown arms on the top of the chair, peering at their faces in the mirror. The young elemental tilted her head side to side, thinking. "What am I going to do," she murmured. "I trust that you, Detective Cain, did not mutilate your hair willingly."

"It was burned off."

"Ouch." She winced, and then studied her face again. "I'm a damn good hairdresser, but I'm not that good. All I can do is fix it up and advise hats until it grows out again. I have some hair growth potions—don't look at me at that, they're magic and they're in little bottles, they're potions- that would help."

"Or…" Valkyrie started, playing with the ends of her damaged hair.

"Or?"

"You could… cut it shorter." She had been quietly thinking about it since she had caught her reflection. "Like… really really short."

Amelia was completely silent for a long moment, dark brown eyes staring deeply at their reflections. And then she suddenly broke into a Cheshire cat smile. "I _like_ that idea."

* * *

Amelia's mood, as she handed Valkyrie her phone and escorted her out the door, was almost terrifying cheerful. She had never seen the hairdresser this pleased with herself. (And she had known her for over fifteen years.) She had taken at least fifty photos of Valkyrie's head, from a dozen different angles. Then, not satisfied with only that, dressed her up in some of her clothes and started a short notice photo shoot. That girl was never content with just a trim.

Finally, she had thanked her profusely for letting her cut it like this, and gave her the photo shoot clothes 'as a gift'. She seemed to think it was the detective's idea to get most of her hair burned off. At this point, Valkyrie was suspecting the stylist had sent the man to burn off her hair as a part of some ridiculous scheme. She had been hounding her about a short style for years.

The haircut had been free, as usual. ( _You saved my life_ , Amelia always told her when she attempted to pay. _I think I owe you a life's worth of free haircuts in exchange._ )

Valkyrie, on the other hand, had a growing sense of dread rising in her stomach. She kept reaching up and touching the back of her head, then running her fingers across the swatch of hair over her forehead. In her other arm, she held the bundle of her clothes, her sword hidden between the folds of her jacket. She forced herself to stop worrying- her hair was a little longer than a pixie cut and looked great, Amelia did a fantastic job, Skulduggery would think…

She shuddered and picked up her phone, looking for a distraction. Tanith had messaged her the news that the kids would be over in the next few days. She frowned- how old were they now? Fifty something? Sparrow might be sixty already. Her brother, Spite, was a little younger. One of them was married with kids, the other single. She couldn't remember which was which. Or maybe it was both? It was all rather depressing. She remembered when they were _born._ And after that, her godmother ceremony. The magic community was very keen on godparents. Thank God Tanith said she was done with kids. …Well, besides a few comments here and there that Valkyrie really didn't need to hear.

(Valkyrie, on the other hand, was a little more than half Tanith's age, and childless. …And a virgin, at that, which was something that Tanith would probably never completely get.)

Distracted by her trivial problems, she hadn't noticed the car pulling up on the other side of the street until she heard the distinct _click_ of a familiar car door opening. She gave herself a final look over with her phone's advanced camera, pressing her short hair into place and adjusting her clothes. She scolded herself for a minute- it was just _hair_ , and nothing was worse than looking like Davina Marr's little sister- and then went back to fretting.

She watched Skulduggery's car- not the Bentley, of course, as it was long gone now, but one classy and old enough for his standards- as he exited and began walking down the sidewalk, past the shops, past the salon, past her…

She frowned, staring at the back of his suit. He had passed her without a second glance. Folding her arms, she watched him with a raised eyebrow as he took out his phone, about a yard away.

….God damn, he was a terrible detective. If he couldn't recognize his partner with a haircut and borrowed clothes, he'd be doomed with actual disguises. Thankfully, he had someone with the eyes he lacked. (Literally.) She took out her phone, still on silent, and waited patiently for him to call her.

"Where are you?" He asked, as soon as she picked up.

"Oh, here and there." She replied coyly, smiling at his back.

"I hope that doesn't mean the salon. I don't think they like me very much, due to my lack of hair."

"Not exactly."

"Is it the ego, then?"

Valkyrie laughed. "Yeah, that probably helps. But I meant my current location."

"Where, then?"

"Turn." She accompanied it with a twirl of her finger that he couldn't see.

He sighed, and then shifted slightly.

"Now what?"

"Walk backwards." Valkyrie answered, biting back a smile while she watched his tall figure slump.

"There are people around me, Valkyrie."

She said nothing. Skulduggery sighed again, and started walking backwards. She didn't say a word, letting him feel the air behind him on his own.

"Now turn around again," Valkyrie grinned.

"I know you're behind me," he started as he turned, slowly and deliberately, and then fell silent as he faced her. She liked reading his expression with her own strange kind of magic, but the pure surprise and awe clearly on his face was nice, too. He blinked his emerald green eyes at her, taking her in.

She waited patiently, arms at the sides of her long skirt, and masked any dread with a teasing smile.

"You…"

"Yes?"

"Are absolutely stunning. If I had breath to take…"

She felt her face flush and her smile light up. "It's…not too short?"

"You look more beautiful than ever. It suits you well." He cupped her chin with his gloved hand, taking in the angles of her cheekbones with a quiet admiration. "And I am still amazed that you are mine."

"You are a big kiss up, you know that?" She put her hand on his left cheek.

"I am well aware," He responded; hand over where his heart would be.

"I guess I have to thank Mr. Fireball for this makeover, then, if I look so damn good. Who is he, anyway?"

"The elders are completely lost. Their records only go fifty years back, so what I proposed…"

"Was that we'd look at our personal files. Fair enough, as it was our problem." She sighed deeply, arching her neck to bring their faces closer. "Can't we just sit around and talk while you tell me how pretty I am?" She teased.

"Afraid not."

"So we really _do_ have to be detectives today?

"Unfortunately," he said, and pressed his forehead against hers. He gave her a cocky smile, eyebrows quirked. "Luckily for me, I have a lovely new assistant to help me during research."

"She better watch out," Valkyrie said, and guided him by his tie to the car.


	2. Research and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry for the delay. I was working on getting a few more chapters done before I posted this one. If it makes you feel better, this chapter is extra fluffy.
> 
> Etymology: Amelia, full name Amelia Petrichor. Amelia means "industrious" and Petrichor is the smell of rain on dry earth. But our lovely hairdresser just nabbed it from her favorite TV show when she was younger.

"Home always seems better after I've been away all day," Valkyrie Cain said briskly, fussing with the key. "And almost set on fire."

"I understand the sensation." Skulduggery said. It was nearly dusk, and the two had finished all of their work responsibilities, which meant… more responsibilities at home. At least she was used to it by now.

They stood in front of their huge, old fashioned house, ancient on the outside but decently modern within.

Valkyrie turned the door handle hard, when it still stubbornly refused to budge. Wiggling it didn't help, nor did mentally threatening it. Exhaling angrily, she faced the double doors and scowled at them for being uncooperative.

"If I wasn't wearing a skirt, I'd kick you down," she threatened, and turned to Skulduggery. "This wouldn't be a problem if we just used magic guards on the house. Who needs keys? You don't even _like_ doors."

"I like to keep some things old fashioned," he said, reaching out a gloved hand to turn the key slowly to each side. "Keeps burglars on their toes." He opened the door with ease and held it open for his partner.

Valkyrie shot the door a last dirty look as she passed it and entered into the threshold of the house, dropping her coat and sword on the counter. Just behind her, Skulduggery deactivated his façade. "No disguises at home," she always told him. He hung up her coat and his hat, placing her sword on the weapons wall by the kitchen. (It didn't even have all of them. They kept the rest in a closet.)

The house was made of the best bits of her, Gordon's, and Skulduggery's old house combined into one. The latter, Skulduggery had been reluctant to give up, but she had convinced him starting from scratch would be easier than constantly adding new additions. Plus, he was sick of dealing with the funeral homes and their squabbling. They had worked on it together, getting everything done to perfection. It was no wonder it comforted her so much, after a long day. They used a lot of modern technology, but she found the style and older furniture reassuring. She loved it all: the grand staircase, the mansion like size, the secret passageways…

…And the person she was sharing with helped.

Their kitchen was far too large for a man who didn't eat and a woman who ate mostly pre-prepared food, but all of the expensive cookware was helpful for when Skulduggery wanted to surprise her with breakfast or dinner. It was a rediscovered skill, one he was quite good at, though he always needed her around to taste test. (Otherwise, he added way too many spices.)

…She grinned to herself, realizing that her next birthday was coming up and with that, amazing food.

"Any reason in particular that you're smiling?" Her partner asked, waiting for her in the hall.

"My birthday's almost here," Valkyrie said brightly, bounce in her step. Her sea foam green dress swirled around her legs as she walked, barefoot, through the carpeted hall.

"Oh?" He sounded surprised. "You're not going to sulk about that? After all, you're turning-"

"Yeah, don't ruin it," she commanded, spinning around and placing a finger over his teeth.

"Fine." He sounded far too amused. They passed by the main living room, where their favorite armchair to nap in (sometimes with Valkyrie laid across his lap, legs dangling off the arms) sat. After that was the secondary living room. And the third.

He never quite got over his compulsion to have multiple living rooms. At least they had other rooms as well in this house.

Valkyrie frowned slightly as passed by an empty cage on a hall table. Skulduggery had bought her a pet snake, a few Christmasses ago, fulfilling a dream of hers she had since she was fifteen. Unfortunately, Cowley had passed away in the last month. She told Skulduggery, often, how she missed his slither echoing through the house, and he told her she was being ridiculous. (But he used to take the snake out and talk to it, so she believed he was hurting just as much.)

The detectives made their way to the office in a comfortable silence. Well… office wasn't quite the right word for it. She referred to it as 'the office', when she mentioned it to others, or when she asked Skulduggery to file something away there, but whenever she pushed opened the doors and looked up the office very quickly became the library.

It was not quite the glory of China's original library, nor her second. It was a library/office all their own, built over decades and decades. It was even older than that, if you counted the files and books Skulduggery had from before they met.

It had started off as a regular library. Skulduggery had kept his books there, and when Valkyrie had found herself drawn back to reading after years of having no time for it, she began collecting her own fictional novels on shelves and tabletops. They had it magically extended over and over, until the room was almost the size of the rest of their house. They had decided a catchall read/research room would be best, and that was how it came to be.

Several hundreds years of writing existed in this room, but most of it came after Valkyrie took the badge, extensively recording things Skulduggery gazed over. It had been the savior in many a case, the teeny tiny detail tying everything together, and if they had any hope to find who their burning attacker was… it would be in this room.

Without saying a word, they immediately started checking the files from fifty years back, the past five centuries already checked by the Elders. Valkyrie pulled out a large stack from a cabinet in the wall, settled into an overstuffed armchair and began flipping through the papers. Meanwhile, Skulduggery checked his record keeping books from before he met Valkyrie.

The brunette detective had asked him several hundred times why he never switched to a computer, exasperated by how long it took to go through the books as opposed to a simple search… But she had to admit there was something warm and irreplaceable and lovely about sitting beside each other in a gentle silence, his hand over hers on the arm of her chair, just reading.

"Should we start with Elementals or Adepts?" Skulduggery asked, glancing at the spines of the books ordered neatly on the north most wall.

Valkyrie frowned, thinking. "Adepts. He would have been able to block that water, if he was an elemental. Must be an adept discipline." She flipped to the appropriate section in her folder.

"Did I ever tell you research took twice as long without you?"

Her mouth quirked up in a smile, and she pushed her fringe out of her eyes coyly. "You have, but it's always nice to hear." He browsed the shelves for a little longer before picking up several books that could double as doorstoppers and settling onto the chair next to her. It was elegant, tall, and straight-backed: the opposite of her comfortable squishy chair.

If there was one thing that Valkyrie was consistently appalled at, while reading files, was the world's _awful_ taken names. Their library served as a third of The Book of Names, featuring the taken name of every mage who had crossed their side of Europe.

Looking under "fire" hadn't helped at all, so she had been forced to read through hundreds of taken names. Every five minutes she found one that she thought had to be the worst in the entire world… and then, a little after that, one that beat it. (Whipped Screaming definitely made the top ten. And deserved a punch in the face. Not that she wanted to meet him or her. The name alone made her wary.)

The files included taken names, powers, date encountered, dead or alive status, and any notes. Of course, not all of the info was filled out for every mage, but it worked well. Their good friends were in there, smalls notes on history- Tanith had a few pages to herself, little numbers denoting important parts in her life since they had met. It started in Skulduggery's neat handwriting, shifting to Valkyrie's quick scrawl later on. They had a ritual, writing out notes as soon as their lives calmed down enough to do so, no matter how much some hurt to put into words. Tanith's were especially hard to write, considering how many times "almost killed" or "tortured" had to be written.

The main ones had been underlined, and stood out:

"28/6/07, TL starts an alliance with myself and Valkyrie Cain."

"29/12/09, Tanith is taken over by a Remnant. No cure currently known."

"8/3/11, Dr. Nye successfully removes the Remnant from Tanith."

"12/6/15, Tanith Low and Ghastly Bespoke are married."

Et cetera. If Valkyrie had ever had a page, Skulduggery had removed it, which she was glad for. There was something eerie about the notes on Tanith and others, something that made them feel like they weren't real people, though the dates were exceedingly helpful. Plus, she had a feeling her notes would be among the lines of, "Valkyrie meets the charming, suave, debonair Skeleton Detective," and the like.

Hours passed, narrated by the sound of flipping pages, with a few false alarms and muttered conversations. Skulduggery disappeared for a couple minutes and came back with a pre-made dinner for Valkyrie.

"Thank you," she smiled gratefully, balancing the warm plastic container on her knees, not having realized how hungry she was until she had food sitting in front of her.

"You would never remember to eat without me," he said in reply, running his hand through her hair. She flattened it back into place, scowling at him, having already known exactly how she liked it to lie. It was difficult getting used to the lack of weight, her new fringe tickling her brow, the way it came together at the base of her neck. But she was falling in love with the cut awfully fast.

Eventually, she sighed, closing the last of the folders and placing it on the floor. "That's it. I've reached the no name sections. You?" He read a lot slower than she did.

"Almost. But I doubt his name started with a Z."

"Probably not. Do you think we should scan the no name sections for any mention of fire?"

"We'd get nowhere. We might a get a sense of his age, but without a name… Not to mention, the files with unknown names are longer than the rest combined." Skulduggery said smoothly. He began reshelving the books, putting files back into their cabinets. He didn't have to stretch like she did for the top shelves. Height, along with age, halted around the surge. She didn't mind still having a twenty-year old face, but shifting from "very tall" to "medium-tallish" was irritating.

"…Maybe you shouldn't have killed him?" suggested Valkyrie, and she glanced at him, before sitting up and yawning. The clock across from her informed her it was a little past midnight.

"He tried to set you on fire," said Skulduggery, and she sensed his skeptical raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but interviews," she yawned, "make… make everything better." She yawned loudly again. "You need to stop killing people in my honor," she said. "It's getting inconvenient."

"Ah. Probably." He finished tidying up the library, and Valkyrie meandered over to his side, yawning again.

She rested her head against his chest. "I'm tired."

"I can see that."

Turning, she smiled to herself, taking a step towards the door, but he swung her back, twirling her close to him.

Her smile was bright as she looked up at him, falling into practiced steps. "And what is this for?"

"Simply feel like it."

"And, of course, there's your inability to take your eyes off me, today." She grinned, following his movements with ease. There was no record player, or iPod, or similarly ancient music player… just swing dancing with a practiced ease in their library, dodging stacks of books and cabinets. She shut her eyes, hearing soft music, and it took a second to realize he was humming. He used the distraction to his advantage before answering her.

"I could be staring at the wall behind you, for all you know."

"Uh huh."

He dipped her, her favorite part, and she suddenly found her feet lifted off the floor by a cool wind. She gave a small shriek as he lifted her high, swinging her around, _definitely_ cheating by using magic.

"You're going to drop me!"

"Am not," Skulduggery said. "But if I do, forgive me and forget that it ever happened." He flew her up, carrying her bridal style, through the ground floor of the house, up the grand staircase.

"How do you always know when I'm too tired to climb these damn things?" she muttered, glancing down.

"Intuition."

He pushed open the door of their room with his back, and Valkyrie landed back on Earth, bare feet lightly hitting the carpet. Rolling her shoulders, she yawned yet again.

The bedroom was simple, more so than the rest of their house. Their individual closets took up most of the floor space. Mostly belong to Skulduggery, though hers contained decades worth of clothes she would never outgrow. Otherwise, it was sparsely furnished, with an oversized bed and vanity. Valkyrie yawned again, popping in their built in bathroom to brush her teeth.

In the main room, Skulduggery followed his bed time ritual and pulled off his suit jacket and neatly put it on a hanger, following it with his shoes- and, for some reason, socks. He couldn't 'sleep' with them on, apparently. Those he put on the floor of his closet, lined up perfectly.

In contrast, Valkyrie pulled her green dress over her head, throwing it whatever direction it wanted to fall.

It paused before the thump, and she turned to see Skulduggery holding his hand out, letting the garment float in the air. He summoned it towards him, hanging it up.

"This," he gently reminded her, "Is not yours."

"Oh. Right." Amelia probably should have expected it by now, but he had a point. She walked over to the drawers, digging around for a pair of shorts. She stepped into them, far beyond being self conscious about her figure around her partner.

"You know," Skulduggery said, contemplative. "That freckle was on the other leg of your reflection."

She spun around to glare at him, mouth set in a line. After she had thoroughly made him feel the power of her sulk, she tugged on an old, light blue button down of Skulduggery's. Even after hours of having her hair chopped off, it was still really odd, not having to pull her long tresses out of the collar as she put it on. She continued with rolling up the sleeves and buttoning it up so it was comfortably oversized. The days of Dublin Jerseys were long gone- so she found an apt substitute.

Skulduggery had already shifted into a meditation stance, long legs bent on either side. His back was against the headboard, skull facing forward. Valkyrie yawned for the tenth time, lying across so she faced him, shifting until she was comfortable. Once they were adjusted, the words just fell out, without fear or hesitation. It was something they did- they asked each other strange questions, recapped their day if they had been apart, talking about fears and whatever else happened to be on their mind.

It was a tradition she couldn't remember the origin of, talking until they ran out of things to say and finally sleeping together, side by side. Meant in the simplest definition possible. It was just him meditating as she hogged blankets and tossed and turned next to him.

It was not traditional, or normal, of course, but neither were they. At some point, they had figured out what worked for them- talking and being close to each other, simply enjoying the others presence. Anything more in their relationship would be… difficult, but she never really felt the loss of that. He was happy, and so was she.

There probably was a definition for the relationship they had, a proper one, but, to her, it was just… what felt right. She drifted off easily, completely at peace.

* * *

_Glass fell like rain around the room, and she flinched, making her way back, trying to treat before…_

_Her body trembled, and she bit back a scream as she looked up. A man's face stared at her from the darkness, cruel smile clear._

_She ran._

_he reached for her, as she cowered, sobbed, begged—_

_who was he, who was he, why was he here, dear god, why_

_her sobs echoed through the house as he reached for her, and she screamed again, a broken sound_

_no no no no_ no

_and all she could see was his face, his horrible face, and he_

She suddenly shot awake—or at least she hoped it was awake. She felt the tendrils of the nightmare grabbing on to her, not letting go. Screaming, she tore at her skin, tried to get every trace away. The man's face- she still saw it in the corner of the room, grinning at her. She screamed, shutting her eyes and shaking with sobs. She curled into herself, wrapped her arms around her legs. She didn't know where she was, or who she was- she didn't even care, she just wanted it to go away. And pain, pain that spiked through her head violently and made her repeat no over and over, but nothing happened, nothing _stopped_ …

"Valkyrie. _Valkyrie_."

A smooth voice broke through the crashing waves of her remaining nightmare like a stone, soft with worry. She focused on his voice, taking it in, shutting everything else out. Breathing heavily, the young woman curled up, shaking gradually going down. She felt arms pulling her up, adjusting her to sit with her knees bent, back rested against a familiar rib cage. She relaxed into his hold, slowly calmed by the whispered words and arms around her.

It was a long time before she could speak. The phantom face was gone, and she had to wipe at her face with her sleeve to be able to see properly.

Valkyrie gave a stretched out sigh that made her entire body quake, shoulders trembling. Nightmares had plagued her for years, of course, but they weren't something she ever got used to. She felt exhausted and empty

"You alright?" Skulduggery asked softly.

"Fine now," Valkyrie whispered, and rested against his rib cage, breathing in the familiar scent of his shirt. His arms wrapped around her again, safe and familiar.

"I wish I could do something to help."

"You do enough. You always know when I'm having a nightmare." She couldn't remember how many nights she had spent with Skulduggery holding her, keeping her safe, helping her back to sleep. "...How, exactly, do you manage to hear me screaming when you're meditating?"

She heard the smile in his voice. "Intuition." She could see the slightest hint of moonlight reflecting off his skull. He stroked her hair. "That's the good thing about being dead, I suppose. No nightmares."

"No good dreams, either," Valkyrie said quietly.

"I never really had those."

Of course he didn't. She hadn't know what had plagued him before he was dead and dreams left forever, but it had to have been something bad. Bad dreams were common in the magic community, but most hadn't seen the things Valkyrie had, putting hers on another scale entirely. Most of hers were memories, scattered in with manifestations of her fears. Tiny spaces, Darquesse coming back to full power, Tanith and Ghastly and Amelia and China being killed in front of her…

…And of course, watching Skulduggery die, over, and over, and over. The image of his bones clattering on the floor of the cave as Melancholia St Clair smiled never really left her.

There was a strong sense she got that this nightmare had been a memory, but the details had scattered when the man's face had disappeared. She didn't really want to recall it anyway.

She stayed, secure in his arms, until she felt safe enough to sleep again. It was good her partner didn't actually _have_ to sleep.

"Thank you again," she said, snuggling back into her cocoon of blankets.

"My pleasure, paramour."

"Until the end?"

"Until the end." He repeated, as always.

Sleepily, Valkyrie smiled, and fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Proposals Over Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing of note to say today. Ho hum. Thank you all for reading, of course.
> 
> Etymology: "Whipped Screaming" was a bizarre typo when I was attempting to describe my hot chocolate ("whipped cream" is what I meant) that was so unusual that it needed to be made into a taken name. I have a feeling they'll show up again, somewhere or another...

The sun was cutting sharply through the windows when she woke, slicing between the little gap between her eyelids and forcing her awake. She groaned like she had been stabbed, slowly rising up off her stack of pillows. She was _never_ going to be a morning person.

"Good morning," Skulduggery said, buttoning up his shirt. He stood off the side of the bed, apparently woken up just before she did. He had a built in alarm clock, and no actual need to sleep. He teased her, often, about the amount of sleep she needed and how impossible it was to wake her up. In response to the glares she sent him in return, he told her to be flattered. He found her sleep pattern fascinating, and "amusing", as if that was going to please her.

The left side of his skull caught the sunlight and reflected in a way that caught her eye. Valkyrie found herself staring at him, and realized she was very far gone if she had started to see his bones as their own kind of beautiful.

"Morning," she greeted, and yawned deeply, stretching out her leg. It gave a little pop, like a porcelains doll's limbs being turned. Moving on to her knees, she rolled her sleeves up to the elbows, enjoying the summer warmth on her skin. A glance at the autoclock on the wall told her it was a little before eight.

"What are we up to today?" asked Valkyrie, swinging herself out of bed. She pulled her arms above her head, reaching for the ceiling and enjoying the comfort of a good stretch.

"Not much, as crime has been rather slow as of late," he said, giving her a brief glance as she continued her morning warm up. He put his arms through a simple vest, buttoning it as well. His partner gave it a small nod of approval.

"Besides the event yesterday."

"Besides that," he agreed. "You are meeting up with Tanith and Amelia later, though."

"Oh yeah. Sparrow and Spite are coming in tomorrow or the day after, did I tell you that?"

"You did not." Skulduggery said neutrally. She knew that he was glad to see them again, however. "I liked them better before they grew up. They admired and respected my glory more then." He continued.

"Did not. They were just more fascinated by a talking skeleton when they were kids. They've grown used to you, now. Now you're just another abnormality. Like how I see you," she teased.

He ignored her burn. "Ridiculous. I am always going to be amazing."

"Their dad's got magic scars and their mum is…Well, Tanith. And they have _me_ as a Godmother. They couldn't stay amazed forever, with all those spectacular people in their life." Stretching done, she headed towards the vanity, walking backwards so she could still have eye contact (well, eye to socket contact) with him.

"And I'm their Godfather. I don't see your point." She rolled her eyes- it was a good thing Godparents would be the closest they'd ever be having kids, because if they had any children who didn't think their dad was the coolest person alive, there would be tears and hats thrown onto the ground, she was sure.

Skulduggery made a little muttering noise in response. Sure that she had won, she turned away to face herself in the mirror, and then took a tiny step back. A prolonged moment of silence clattered down between them.

"Alright," she said, warningly. "Why didn't you care to mention this?"

She pointed her index finger at her hair, bed head at it's worst, strands of her deep brown hair sticking straight up.

"The plagues of short hair," he said, not actually explaining. "I remember them well." She scowled at him, so he added, "it doesn't look that bad. You could spike it and it'd suit you well."

"Still though," she complained, sitting down and grabbing for her brush. "It's an absolute mess, and it's going to take hours to…" She swept the brush through her hair a few times, and was stunned to see it was fixed already.

"And the major advantage to having short hair." She caught Skulduggery's jaw move in her mirror.

"I could get used to this," she admitted.

* * *

The jacket she picked, going out the door, was waist length and zippered, stylistically lose. It fit her perfectly, and was, of course, black as the darkest midnight. She had paired it with form fitting black jeans and a modern green shirt. (Color was making a shocking reappearance in her wardrobe.) Across her chest hung her favorite sword belt, which matched all of her outfits and had beautifully detailed symbols etched into the metal. She didn't need Skulduggery to tell her she looked beautiful that morning, but she appreciated it anyway.

He sat in the driver's seat beside her, parked outside the café where she was supposed to meet Tanith and Amelia.

"Call me if anything important happens," Valkyrie told him, not yet unbuckling her seat belt. "Or if you find out anything related to the case."

"I won't bother you when you're with your friends."

"I _really_ don't mind."

His façade smiled. "It seems to be almost if you don't _want_ to go, dear heart."

"I do!" Valkyrie insisted. Tanith and Amelia were all she really had for friends, after all. (Well, there was China, but she was…. China.) "It's just…" she hesitated, playing with the zipper on her jacket. "The whole… casual moments. Getting breakfast and coffee with friends after nearly being set on fire. It's hard to switch my mind over to that, I guess. I think it's getting worse the older I get."

"Nonsense," he said, and she expected him to say something profound. Instead, he told her, "You just don't want to leave my amazing presence."

Valkyrie rolled her deep brown eyes, biting her cheek to prevent a smile. "Getting out of the car now, you egotistical bastard." She unbuckled the seatbelt and unlocked the door with her other hand.

"You can't resist my charm," Skulduggery insisted.

"Goodbye!" She went to shut the door behind her, and hesitated, quickly leaning across the car to kiss him briefly on the lips. Well, teeth, though she could barely feel them underneath the façade. His eyes were closed as she pulled away, and she remembered when he once told her what her kisses felt like.

_"Like something I don't deserve to feel; soft and impossibly fragile, barely there but incredibly strong."_

She called him a sap and burned bright red for about ten minutes.

Presently, he cupped her face with his hand before she had a chance to escape again.

"Have a good day," he said, his fake face irresistibly charming with its cocky smile and mischievous green eyes. He did this on purpose.

"I'm going to be late." Valkyrie tried hard to sound impatient and annoyed.

"You're always late."

"That's true. Don't do anything too interesting without me," his partner reminded him.

"Got it."

She gave him another smile and then slid out of the car, hurrying up the stairs into the café's outside eating area before Tanith could ring and yell at her. Her boot heels clacked loudly as she turned past the entrance and into the cluster of vintage tables.

"Here, sorry!" she shouted, spotting Tanith at a table towards the back. Her phone was cupped in her hand, and Valkyrie knew she had been just about to interrogate her on why she was late. She was dressed in a Ghastly original, with long boots.

The blonde looked up when she spoke, and then blinked in surprise.

"Your hair!"

She had forgotten about that momentarily, in her Skulduggery dazed state and rush to get there on time. "Ah, right." She grinned. "Do you like it?"

"You look fantastic," Tanith beamed. "But _really_ different. You've had long hair since I first met you, what made you want to change it?" Despite having spent decades and decades in Ireland, her British lilt was still clear as day.

Valkyrie pulled out a chair and sat herself down, balancing her heels on the chair's bars. "It wasn't exactly my choice," she said, picking up a menu even though she always got the same thing. "Pyromaniac decided to barbeque me yesterday."

"Ouch," Tanith winced. "At least you're okay. Were you with Skulduggery?"

"Yeah."

"…Then said pyro is probably not around anymore," she ventured, expression hard to read.

"No, he isn't." She glanced out at the other tables, taking in the perfectly mortal customers talking cheerily around them. Valkyrie lowered her voice slightly. "We're trying to figure out who he is. Know any mages who are fireproof and can turn themselves into a walking fireball?"

Tanith shook her head, blonde curls settling around her shoulders, tangling into each other. "No clue, sorry." She picked up a coffee cup, and Valkyrie watched as her hand shook with a sad frown.

Tanith Low was different after the remnant.

She constantly trembled, unless she was fighting, where she regained control of her body thanks to adrenaline. Sometimes she clutched at her chest like she could feel phantom pains. Texan accents made her flinch or go pale, any mention of a remnant sent her into near hysterics. And, most noticeably, she had a long scar running from just above her heart to past her belly button, clearly visible whenever she went to the beach. The remnant had fought with Nye so much it was unable to prevent scarring when it operated on her.

That was the one thing she didn't mind, however. She always told Valkyrie that she liked that she and Ghastly were now a matching set.

It hurt, even after all these years, to watch her once impossibly strong, beautiful friend reduced to _this_ , all of this damage looming over her.

But there she was across from her, blissful smile on her face and body language peaceful and relaxed, not even noticing her tremor.

"Spite and Sparrow will be here tonight or tomorrow. I haven't seen them in months!" She was practically bouncing in her chair.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "Is this what it's like when you have kids? Getting all giddy when you get to see them after a few months?"

"No," Tanith told her, taking a sip of her tea. "This is what it's like when your kids have grown up ...Although, honestly, that barely applies to Spite."

"So he's not married yet?" Valkyrie confirmed, twirling her finger.

Tanith laughed loudly. "God, no. He's going to be a twenty one year old bachelor forever, at this rate."

Valkyrie shook her head good-naturedly. "Sparrow and um, Terra, that's her name, isn't it, still alright?"

"Domestic bliss."

"Good!" Valkyrie smiled.

"Speaking of domestic bliss," Tanith said, leaning back in her seat, tone calculatedly casual. "How are you and Skulduggery?"

"Same old," said Valkyrie evasively.

"Which means?"

"No marriage proposal, so don't bother asking."

"Don't snap at me," Tanith stuck her tongue out at her. "It's a legitimate question. You've been dating for how long, now?"

Valkyrie hesitated, looking away. "…A little over seventy years."

Tanith whistled. "Damn. And you'll be ninety eight next month, right?"

"Don't remind me."

"Ninety eight's not bad. One hundred and fifty is when it starts to really kick in." She stared at the rim of her cup for a long moment. "Do you _really_ want to get married?"

"Not really," Valkyrie said casually, running her finger down the tablet menu. She saw Tanith raise an eyebrow out of the corner of her eye. "Okay. Maybe a little."

"Why?"

"Because…" she breathed out. "It's… it makes me feel less like this thing is just temporary, or that it's just some sort of weirdly close friendship. It makes it feel real, official. And not like something that might fly off or fade. And maybe I do like typical romantic things sometimes. I just… I have no bloody idea how to tell him all of this, but it seems impossible that he'll figure it out on his own." She buried her face in her hands, sighing.

Tanith spoke up, desire to help in her voice. "Do you want me to have Ghastly talk to him?"

"No. That'll just make it worse. I want it to be something he wants, too. Not something I'm forcing him into. I just don't want to ruin everything."

"I don't think anything you did could ruin what you have now." Tanith said softly. Valkyrie looked up at her, and she continued. "It's weird and I don't understand it half the time, but it works for you two, and it's lasted for a long time. You shouldn't worry about it, alright?"

Her dark haired friend sighed. "I know. It's just… ugh. I wish it were as easy as it was for you and Ghastly. You married him, what, a month after you came back?"

"No!" She said indignantly. "It was like, three years, okay?"

"Which is pretty much the same thing when you're that old."

Tanith shot her a look, and Valkyrie smiled.

"Alright, alright, I'll leave off it. But it was a lot easier for you two. You just… knew. No complicated fumbles for over a decade before you worked it out."

"Fumbles or not, you two did figure it out. Stop complaining about a good thing," Tanith said. "Propose to him yourself, if it bothers you that much."

Valkyrie laughed. And then stopped. "Do you think that would work?"

There was another look from Tanith.

"Fine. I'll... hint more, or something."

Tanith frowned, as if something just occurred to her. "It's… not something to do with his wife, is it?"

Valkyrie flinched like she'd been hit. "I've thought about that." She said quietly. "Like he doesn't want to get married because I'm not _her_ , and he wants her to be his only wife, and I'm just his… This. Whatever this is. It's something different, and it'll never be like that."

"Oh, Val." Tanith sighed. "It's not like that."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've known Skulduggery for a long time, and he cares about you too much to do that to you," she said seriously. "Besides…" She glanced off, her hands trembling on the table.

"There's nothing wrong with him seeing you as something different from her. You two are… different. I haven't ever met anyone like you two."

"Because we don't have sex?" Valkyrie said bluntly, rolling her eyes.

"Not _that_ ," she scoffed. "You're just… different. You're not his girlfriend, he's not your boyfriend. You're partners. Sou—"

Her best friend cut her off. "I hate that word."

"It still fits." Said Tanith stubbornly.

Valkyrie finally pinged her order into the tablet and hit send, deciding not to say anything. Tanith just kept her gaze steady as her hands trembled. After a while, they started going through Tanith's phone, looking at pictures of Sparrow and Spite, like always. Tanith was a little predictable whenever her kids came home, but she didn't mind it. After a while, the brunette spoke up.

"Thanks," Valkyrie muttered. "For being here to talk."

"No problem. Amelia will be here soon- though she never actually gives up a heads up."

"Amelia is deeply allergic to phones."

"More like arch rivals."

They caught each other's gaze and grinned at the joke, then shifted their attention back to Tanith's phone.

A storm of stomping interrupted them. A woman with a willowy figure strode into the seating area, wearing over sized sunglasses, a red tanktop and high waisted pants.

The strange outfit wasn't the weirdest part about her, though. That would be her short, spiked hair, various shades of red, yellow, and orange, giving the strong impression that her head was on fire.

"Amelia," Valkyrie said, without needing to identify her face. The woman got all sorts of looks from the diners around them, but Valkyrie and Tanith kept a calm face, acting blasé about the whole thing.

"Detective Cain, Miss Low," Amelia greeted cheerily, scraping her chair against the ground loudly and sitting in it backwards. "My sincerest apologies for being late."

"Because of that?" Valkyrie pointed out her head.

"Indeed. I've got about thirty shades in there." She used dye like paint, blending it together at the base of her head. "All magic, of course," she said in an undertone. Fifteen years later, she still spoke about magic like it was a forbidden secret. Louder, she added, "And all thanks to you! I was inspired by your fierce new look. And also, the fact you were set on fire."

"So you chopped it all off?"

"Why not?" She smiled brightly. The new redhead caught Tanith's eye. "Think we're starting a revolution here. Feel like conspiring?"

Tanith shook her head, as if to show off her blonde curls. "Nah. Ghastly like it's like this, and I do too." Amelia accepted this, and the three fell into a comfortable silence until Amelia jolted up in her seat.

"Tanith!"

Tanith raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Valkyrie tells me Sparrow and Spite are going to be in town?"

The blonde brightened and nodded, the smile of a content mother, always to talk about her kids. Probably not in the way the hairdresser liked to talk about them, though.

"Oh, good," Amelia practically purred.

Valkyrie shook her head. "Back off. Sparrow's still happily married, you know."

Amelia deflated slightly, but bobbed her head back up. "And Spite?"

"Forever a tomcat," Tanith said through her teeth, giving a glare of disapproval that Valkyrie was sure her son could feel from miles away.

"Excellent," Amelia said, lacing her fingers together. It wasn't that hard for Valkyrie to see- the two of them were still babies to her. Amelia grabbed an electronic menu and began plugging her dishes into it with gusto, tapping out a beat with her electric blue fingernails.

Once that was done, she glanced up at them. "So… what were you guys talking about before I got here?"

They answered simultaneously;

"Nothing."

"The lack of ring on Val's finger."

The brunette shot Tanith a glare, and she held her hands up in surrender, mouthing 'sorry'.

"She actually went with it? She nearly tried to rip my head off when I mentioned it yesterday. How do you do it?"

"Years of practice," Tanith told her. There was a quiet rolling noise as their orders came out on an electronic table, and the swordswoman served them as she spoke. "Val is a master of deflection. To get her to talk about something she's avoiding, you must be skilled."

Valkyrie scowled at her plate, and tuned the two of them out as they discussed the situation. She didn't need their help. It was, after all, her problem. Tanith herself said there was nothing she could do. Amelia just made jokes about it- offered to shave 'marry me" in to her hair and silly things about that- but mostly, they were moral support.

She didn't need moral support. She needed to stop feeling so damn uncertain.

A sigh passed her lips. It was always this, when the three of them were alone. If Skulduggery was there, they kept their lips sealed, thankfully, but it seemed like they thought it was their duty to get her engaged.

Valkyrie wouldn't dare tell them that sometimes it really _did_ nag at her... or how much the whole things made her want to yell at everyone. Nodding or making faces when it was appropriate, she managed to survive the whole conversation until the topic switched.

The change was provided by Tanith's phone, which played out a clear, perfect ring tone next to her emptying place.

"It's Ghastly." Tanith said, a trace of newlywed glee still in her voice.

Her husband's face was unusually grim, and he acknowledged the younger elementals with barely a nod of his head.

"It's Sparrow and Spite," he said, the names awkward on his tongue, having trouble seeing his children as old enough to take their own names. "They've been attacked."


	4. Twenty Over Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the very sweet reviews this time around! And yes, fallingfree100- the kissing thing was a challenge, as it normally irritates me in fics... but I think I made it work here, ahha.
> 
> Etymology: Sparrow, full name Sparrow Ingenuity. The latter means cleverness, and her first name is after an animal known for it's cleverness... so, a rather redundant name. Additionally, Sparrow happens to be a popular taken name in the fandom. Everyone with that name are secretly Ghastly and Tanith's children. No exceptions.

Still tightly clutching the phone, Tanith's tremble became more pronounced. The blonde swallowed, bracing herself. "Are they-"

"Fine," Ghastly said quickly, reassuring her. "They've evaded them, gone off somewhere safe."

"Who was it?"

"No one they recognized. A group of about twelve or so- they were massively outnumbered and unprepared." Valkyrie nodded. It explained why they- children of two of Ireland's fiercest fighters- had to flee. "It was like they knew they weren't in prepared to fight. Sparrow was jet lagged and exhausted, still in travel clothes and with all of her weapons packed away…"

"Leaving her with no other choice but to run," Valkyrie guessed.

"Yes. Spite was behind her- she had to hold her own before he caught up and Cloaked the both of them," Ghastly informed.

Amelia frowned. "Cloaking is his weird invisibility thing, right? Hiding in plain sight?"

Valkyrie nodded and shot her a look, trying to communicate that this was a little too serious to make fun of Spite's adept ability. Amelia made a face and threw up her hands.

"Probably wanted to fight them all off," Tanith murmured, ignoring the two of them. "Thank God he didn't. What about the attackers?"

"They're still loose. And trying to go after them, still. They were tracking them, waiting for them to reappear for over an hour. And Spite doesn't know how they found them, whether they were expected them and tracked their flight number, or…"

"So they're still here? In the city?" Valkyrie spoke up, sitting straight in her chair.

"Approximately," Ghastly said. "They followed them out of the airport, chased them out of the public eye. They saw them last by the old theater."

"Send me the address," Tanith said. "I'll meet you there." Valkyrie noticed that she and Ghastly never actually discussed going after the attackers with a strange sort of awe.

"Sending it now."

In the few seconds it took to send, Tanith fastened her scabbard, typing a code into the menu tablets for the bill, face serious.

"Got it," she said finally, holding the phone out. "I'll be there soon. I love you."

"I love you too," Came Ghastly's voice from the phone. He hung up a moment later.

Affairs in order and ready to leave, Tanith glanced at Valkyrie. "Are you—"

"Of course." She said automatically, her hand automatically going to the hidden sheath of her sword. "I've got your back. And they're my god kids. I'm not letting those bastards get off easy."

"I'm happy to back up, as well," Amelia added quickly. She stood up, pushing her chair in. She had no weapons to double check, but her stance shifted slightly, as if already preparing for a fight.

"Thank you," Tanith replied, looking immeasurably grateful, face shifting with relief. They left the labyrinth of chairs and tables at a brisk pace, Amelia in the lead.

"Plus," the redhead added, glancing behind her at her older friends. "I'm the one with a car."

* * *

Valkyrie had never liked Amelia's driving, but the speed and recklessness could come in handy when one was in a hurry. (The hairdresser seemed to think she was still riding a bicycle, making up her own rules and speed limits, and could just hop wherever she pleased and people would avoid her as if she had a disease. It didn't exactly work that way. It was a good thing her car was tiny and eco-friendly to the core.)

The car took them on the quickest streets to the theater, meaning it took less than fifteen minutes for them to find themselves in a nearly abandoned block, a desolate movie theater looming above them. Amelia parked quickly, her new car thankfully silent. She fished out a pair of black-rimmed glasses from the glove box. In the passenger's seat, Tanith was texting her husband, face pale and mouth set in a grim line. Valkyrie kept her gaze steady out the window, moving around to see from all angles without leaving the car.

It didn't take Valkyrie long to spot the tiniest bit of movement, someone around six feet tall ducking into an alleyway. Her were breaths were sharp, ready, and her fingers wound tighter around the sword belt across her chest. She slid out of the back seat, letting Amelia and Tanith prepare however they needed to, unsheathing her sword and padding across the street.

It was eerie around here. She vaguely recognized it, in the way it was laid out, but the buildings were all unfamiliar. Seeing as it had been abandoned… she must not have been here in a long, long time. Her pale fingers caught the zip on her jacket as she walked, pulling it up towards her chin. Her boots hit the ground with a calculated silence, her strides fast and careful.

Finally, she slid her hand against the wall, and dared to peek, just the slightest bit, over the edge of the wall.

Once looking into the alleyway, she discovered that "twelve-ish" was a bit of an understatement.

The sorcerers crammed together in the narrow space, some sitting on the ground, others sprawled on top of dumpsters, others still pacing around. Their ages were impossible to peg, but they were all casually dressed, perfect for blending in and slipping into an airport. Not necromancers, watched as they checked their phones, panic and worrying starting to settle on a few of their faces.

Losing Sparrow and Spite was not a good thing for them, apparently.

She grimaced and turned back to the street, where Ghastly was stepping out of a cab, Tanith swooping down and embracing him as soon as he was on the street. Valkyrie caught their gaze, and held out her hands in a quick symbol- both hands spread out twice, showing twenty. Tanith's jaw set, and she began slinking across the street, bent halfway and at a furious pace, almost running. She paused briefly before Valkyrie, gazing at the wall. It was long enough for Valkyrie to see she was completely still, head to toe. Finally, she jumped onto it, boot heels making a hiss as they scraped across the bricks.

She kept on running until she was in the alley where the gang was, hanging just above their heads. Valkyrie could no longer see her friend, but knew she hadn't yet made a move, from the lack of sound.

Amelia joined her side, quietly, giving her a glance as if asking for help. She held, waiting for Ghastly…

…And heard a familiar voice from inside the alleyway.

"Did you attack the Sanctuary Agents Sparrow Ingenuity and Spite Clarent?" Valkyrie kept her gaze on the wall, listening carefully.

There was a quiet titter of laughter. "Yeah. Having a bit of trouble finding them again, though."

"Nobody said the bloke was a _ninja,"_ a higher voice muttered.

"…Please don't tell me we found the Guards instead." The first voice finished in disbelief.

"Worse," Tanith's voice called from above. "Their parents."

And then the sounds of a fight exploded into Valkyrie's eardrums.

She spun and ran, right hand on the butt of her sword, grasping it and holding it out in front of her in a practiced motion. She heard the clack of Amelia's heels behind her, and the two women braced for battle, ready to join Ghastly and Tanith.

It wasn't until she was able to absorb the image in front of her that it occurred for Valkyrie to wonder- _why didn't they wait for us?_

She watched in quiet awe as Ghastly slammed through walls of young looks mages, who hit the wall and crumpled as if hit by a bear's claw. Tanith slashed and hacked with a ferocity she had never seen in her friend before, her old grace returned to her at last.

"Why did you attack them?" He asked loudly, arms up and battering against the young man who spoke earlier.

"Orders and money!" He replied, smirking. "Isn't that why you do anything these days?" Ghastly swept his feet out from under him, and he crumpled. He leaned down, lifting him up by his shirt collar.

"D-don't ask who, old man," he stuttered. "We don't even know." Ghastly blinked at him, dark eyes serious, and then quickly clocked him on the head, pushing him into sleep.

He stood and looked for someone new to question.

Amelia gave Valkyrie a desperate look.

"Um," the older woman said, at a loss. "Try to…cut in. If you can." It seemed that they weren't needed after all.

The thirty two year old shrugged, her animated reaction moving across her whole body and she quickly stepped inside the alleyway, running and picking up the pieces that Tanith and her husband had left behind.

Valkyrie followed, feeling the slightest chill as she stepped across a faded white line. One of them was trying to control the temperature, her detective mindset kicked in, probably couldn't stand fighting in the summer heat…

And then a blow hit her lower back, and she realized quickly now was not the time for detecting.

She spun around, blade out, and felt the blade hit her attacker's gut as if she smacked him with her own arm. A grunt was audible before she could even see the man's face.

He staggered back, hand on his stomach. She could see the slightest hint of blood tricking down his tunic, and she grinned. Like a fencing match, all she needed was first blood.

The man was vast and muscled, strange transparent chains wrapped tightly around his wrists and forearms. He whipped them out at her, and she parried them away, biding her time. It was not quite metal against metal; the chains made a peculiar sound as her steel hit them. He aimed for her wrists, trying to disarm her, but she was too fast, too adept with the sword.

She had two of the best teachers in Ireland, after all. Tanith Low and Skulduggery Pleasant. Their techniques were completely different; she had been able to blend them into her own particular style, unable to be predicted or repeated. She didn't have the natural talent of Tanith, of course, but she could damn well hold her own against her in a battle- and beat just about anyone else.

His expression shifted, grew tired, weary. She could even sense his bafflement and annoyance with his exhaustion- he really had no idea what was going on, Still, he didn't give up, using the chains with a trained skill, aiming for her ankles. Valkyrie jumped, skipped, and dodged in a practiced dance, literally fencing circles around him as he almost screamed in annoyance.

This, she thought, was fun.

Finally, his chain link landed a hit on her right thigh, with a force that left her stumbling and made her certain she would be bruised black and blue the following morning. She didn't want to think of how she'd feel without her protective clothes. Swallowing, she made a mental note to thank Ghastly once there were done with this. Backing off into a retreat, she fell into a familiar stance, one she was certain of and felt safe with.

There was a glee in the man's eyes as he advanced towards her, chains smacking across the ground as he stepped and shifted so he was directly across from her, thick feet carefully balanced. She kept her face serious, free hand low and out in front. He raised his wrists high above his head and brought them down, _hard_ , in front of him. She leaped back, boots scrabbling against the ground, trying not to flinch as she noticed the crack emerging from where his chains struck.

Now he was _really_ smiling. His arms moved above his head, preparing to repeat the move…

And a shudder ran through his entire body, starling him. He shook his head from side to side, like a dog, and then attempted the move once more.

This time, his arms trembled so much he couldn't even lift the heavy chains.

The man roared, an animalistic sound that shook Valkyrie to her very core, and tried to thrash out, desperately, chain links clattering together…

Instead, he fell to the ground like a boulder, his body making the entire alleyway quake as he fell. It almost threw Valkyrie off her feet. She felt relief course through her body, improving her strength. She had been about to start feeling worried- for the first time in _ages_.

The entire group- friends and foes- turned to stare at her in disbelief, as she advanced towards the man and nudged his head with her boot.

Still breathing, of course. Her sword's blade was coated in a sleeping poison, and he was doomed the moment she hit him. It took him much, much longer to fall than the average attacker, however, due to his massive bulk. She'd need to compensate somehow- a stronger solution, maybe?

Then again, that could kill the less massive. Hmm. She'd have to ask Skulduggery what he thought.

Tentatively, new members went in to fill their chained brethren spot, looking a just the slightest bit terrified. She took the two young women out easily, and moved their slumbering bodies towards the chained man, making a neat little pile. She turned to watch the others as she did so. Tanith and Ghastly were constantly switching from working alone to perfectly in tandem, a practiced dance for the couple.

Amelia came scrambling past her in retreat. She flashed her a quick smile before her hands and forearms went aflame. The flames licked her wrists, their light reflecting off her hair and making it look even _more_ ignited.

The elemental threw out her fists, fireballs blasting towards her combatant, who was now the one forced to retreat.

Valkyrie felt the slightest bit of pride burning in her chest before she went to seek her own person to fight. She caught a glance at Tanith and Ghastly at the end of the alley, taking at least five attackers each. The three of them seemed to have it covered, so who…?

When she walked forward, she immediately almost fell to the floor. She startled, looking down at the ground- where a thin sheet of ice was rapidly spreading around her.

Well, she was going to look for whomever was doing that, first. She prowled unsteadily, trying hard to keep her feet, dark eyes looking for the trace of ice. She sensed the person, rather than saw them, an extreme drop in temperature to her left. The air chilled significantly before she could even turn, and frost began racing up her sleeve. She couldn't feel it on her arm, but it bit into her fingers and she swore, tightening her grip on her sword in her other hand.

She was facing the elemental, now, a tall woman with thin lips and a haughty expression on her face, like she smelled something unpleasant. Cold blast against her face, and she winced, trying to activate her sword.

Just a tiny flicker of flame would set the blade ablaze, and melt the ice instantly. That was, if her hands weren't _freezing_. She rubbed her left hand on her jacket, trying to heat it up, but when she glanced at it, she saw her finger tips grow purple. The woman seemed to realize the cold was derailing her, and sent the ice blasting in a strong torrent against her, an icy wind that was shoving her into the opposite wall.

Now that Valkyrie was pinned, still trying desperately to make a flame, the elemental began working on freezing her to the wall.

Valkyrie struggled. One teeny tiny flame, that was all she needed. But her fingers couldn't find enough heat to make a spark, and her brain was befuddled by the cold…

This wouldn't be a god damn problem if she could just _use magic like she used to._ She could have made a spark while _asleep_ , then. Frustration brought tears to her eyes, which instantly froze around her eyelids. Her anger did nothing; just worsened her concentration. Ice was running up her pant legs now, sneaking in under the fabric and getting directly on her skin, and her breath caught in her throat. A barrage of swear words marched through her thoughts, almost muffling the kindling of an idea.

"Am-Amelia," she yelled, frost forming on her lips. "Spark-"

Amelia turned at her name being called, and her eyes widened in alarm as she took in Valkyrie's situation. She raised her hand, flames kissing her fingers-

And was promptly clubbed in the back of the head by a tall figure. Reflex caused her to send the fire directly at her attacker, and she swerved, forgetting about Valkyrie.

The ice was now close to her belly button. Valkyrie silently cursed herself for being too cocky; now what was she going to-

A spark flew over both of their heads like a firework. Valkyrie tried to catch Amelia's eye and thank her before it landed, but the girl was still fighting against her big fisted opponent- it was Ghastly, instead, who found her gaze and nodded as the spark touched down.

Valkyrie struggled to pull her arm up. She barely caught it, but it was all she needed- the sword lit up like Guy Fawkes Night, and it blasted hot air, instantly melting the ice covering her body.

The other elemental stepped back as Valkyrie shook out her limps, returning feeling to them. Then she advanced, quick and deadly, melting the ice shards the woman threw at her before it even reached her swords' tip. She used the Agrippa defense, keeping her footsteps light and tiny to avoid slipping on the ice beneath her. The heat blasting through the sheath was strong and reassuring, a reminder of her power, her strength. It was why she loved it so much.

A reminder of the old days. Before she gave it up.

She directed a fire blast from the sword at the woman, who all but shrieked, dodging out of the way. Valkyrie decided to end it quickly and painlessly, muffling the flame and bringing it back to poison. She threw her arm out in a calculated, perfect slash, and it caught on the woman's arm, drawing blood.

She was down in an instant.

Valkyrie exhaled deeply, leaning on her sword to catch her breath. She looked around her- it seemed that all of the rogue mages were down. She wasn't sure whether or not they were… still alive, but she assumed so. The three of her friends never killed unless necessary. There was only one foe left standing- the one fighting Amelia, earlier. She watched with a tired sort of curiosity.

"Oh _come on_ , you can do better than that!" Amelia called, twisting her wrist and shooting out a water whip that knocked him off his feet. He landed roughly, and she sent him flying up immediately after, rising up, up, up above the walls of alleyway. Then she drew her fingers into a fist, and he came barreling down, hitting hard on ground. He made a grunt, curling up into a tight ball.

"Damn," Amelia muttered. "You're still conscious after that?" She gazed at him as if debating whether or not to batter him more, and then decided against it, wiping her hands together and stepping away.

Ghastly and Tanith were standing together, hand in hand, faces still serious but considerably relieved. She was sure that, individually, they took down more mages than her and Amelia combined.

"Good job," Valkyrie said, honestly, looking at the damage around them. "Now we just need to figure out how the hell to get all of them into custody."

"They're not going to fit in my car," Amelia said, checking her bright blue nails for damage.

"Thank you, peanut gallery," Valkyrie muttered, taking out her phone. It had frost on the screen. She glared at it, and wiped it against her shirt. Speaking "Work" into the phone's mic, she speed-dialed Skulduggery's (and her own) work number.

"Inspector Pleasant?" She asked, as soon as the ring stopped, hoping she wouldn't get one of the sanctuaries awful secretaries.

"Inspector Cain," her partner answered back, voice serious and business like. They had started the habit when their phone calls were monitored by the sanctuary- decades and decades ago- and had a problem getting out of the habit when using the line."What seems to be the problem?"

"Rogue mages, sir," she answered, struggling to hide a smile he couldn't see. "Attacked and possibly attempted murder on Sparrow Ingenuity and Spite Clarent. I have them detained."

"And you are joined by Miss Low and Mr. Bespoke?"

"Yes. As well as Amelia Petrichor."

"How many rogues, inspector?"

"Approximately twenty-two, sir."

There was stunned silence on the other line. "Well," he said dryly. "I thought we agreed not to have an interesting day without the other."

"No," she said, childish tone creeping into her voice. " _You_ did."

There was a familiar, irritated noise on the line. She smiled, but her expression grew slightly grim as she glanced around her. She lowered her voice.

"I've never seen them fight like that before. Tanith or Ghastly."

"People can be awfully protective of their children." Skulduggery said, and something cold clutched at Valkyrie's heart. She swallowed, trying not to think about what he just said in depth.

"Well," she said, quickly. "They seemed to be rightly terrified when they figured out they were their victim's parents."

"Ah, yes. Wedding rings, striking fear into the hearts of vagabonds every where."

"Good scary, though," she said.

"…I suppose so, yes."

* * *

Amelia and Valkyrie sat on the street's curb, surrounded by unconscious bodies. Ghastly and Tanith paced behind them, talking on the phone with their children in very parental tones. The brunette had to bite back a laugh at Tanith's "what were you _thinking_?" and the pictures that came with it- the siblings from back when they attempted to jump off roofs and set cereals boxes on fire with their prepubescent elemental magic.

Valkyrie was starting intently at the end of the street, waiting for a familiar car to turn up. She sensed Amelia's gaze on her and slowly turned to face the mage.

"What?"

She gave a little snort in answer. "Nothing." She paused for a long moment, then spoke up again. "It's just… Something about the way you look right, waiting for him. And those two-" she rolled her bony shoulder behind her. "The way they fought for their kids, and how they worked together… Like nothing else mattered. It just seems…powerful? I don't know."

Valkyrie raised your eyebrows. "Okay, this is…new. What's with you? You like being single, not worrying about family."

"I really do! But you all have a purpose in your life. Spouses and partners and children and… reasons to be. What do I do? I cut hair. Occasionally I beat people up. Sometimes, I just think… what's the point? …I'm not even supposed to _be_ here."

Valkyrie bit her tongue. "I told you that _once_ , fifteen years ago. I didn't even mean it."

"It's still true," Amelia said, staring at worn out knees of her jeans.

Valkyrie sighed deeply. "Amy, you're still a teenager in this world. You haven't aged a day since your Surge. You're young, you don't _need_ a purpose yet. Just relax."

"What, did you really take that when you were a teenager? An actual one, by mortal standards? 'You're just a kid, don't worry about it?"

Valkyrie hesitated. "Not… exactly. But it was _a lot_ different then."

"Of course it was," the redhead said quickly. " _You_ had to save the world." She grabbed at her orange-red hair and sighed. "God, sorry, I shouldn't be snapping at you. It's just… really, really annoying. I feel like nothing's changed. It's as if I do absolutely nothing, in the scheme of things."

Sympathy fell onto the brunette's features. "To be honest... everyone feels like that, sometimes. Especially mages. That power, and all of that time… you feel like you need to _do_ something with it. It's impossible not to have an identity crisis, at some point. But you do a lot more than you know," she said softly. "You're not nothing."

Amelia was quiet for a while, and then looked at her. "You're right," she said finally. "I gave you an amazing makeover."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. 'Yes, that too." She hesitated before leaning forward and gave Amelia a quick hug. She hugged back, skinny arms reaching around Valkyrie's scabbard.

When she pulled away, Amelia's brown eyes had their usual spark back and she was smiling, but Valkyrie had a feeling this conversation wouldn't be the last. She sighed. That was her part, she supposed, being the older friend. She'd try to get Tanith's help here as well.

A little less than ten minutes later, Skulduggery's car pulled up, a large truck behind it. But it wasn't until she was picking up the sorcerers and lifting them, muttering and stirring, into the back of the truck, that she realized how much interrogation she was going to have to do.

She groaned. _Not_ her favorite part of being a detective.


End file.
